Letter to Logan – February 2019

by Darcie
B mug

Logan,

February has been a really good month. We’ve had relaxing weekends, long walks and talks, meals cooked together, and spent time on projects we enjoy.

We’ve both had exciting career moves. You reconnected with a former client and decided to work together again. I accepted a position at a private practice and will start in March. After the struggles we both faced last year, this upswing feels SO good.

I’ve also pursued an idea for The Realationship Project and have felt so fulfilled in developing it. I know that part of what has made February such a happy month is that I’ve made time for creativity.

A couple things really stood out to me this month. First, a shift in my relationship with my mom, and second, a conversation we had about a job posting.

Recently I’ve felt impatient with my mom and spent time reflecting on what was causing this atypical behavior. After some thought and talking with a friend, I realized that I am in the process of differentiating from my parents.

While I’m close with my dad, my mom and I have always been very connected. As I become more connected with you, I’ve been separating from my mom. I believe this to be very healthy, since we are getting married in seven months (!!!!!!!). You and I will be a family unit, and while I still want to by close with my parents, the dynamics will be different.

I don’t think I realized how much I’ve developed into my own person and have worked to make my life the way I want it, which in some ways, is different from how my parents live. It’s been a struggle to recognize that while I’m still close with them, I’ve chosen to do some things differently than they do, and that’s perfectly okay.

I’m in Bali right now with my mom. We are visiting the villa where you and I will get married, do food and cake tasting, and talk about decor. It’s so special to have this time with her, and I know how much it means to her.

Still, part of me is a little sad that you aren’t here to share in this experience with me. You’ll first go to Bali right before our wedding, and I know you’ll love it. I can’t wait for you to experience a place I love so much, and then to honeymoon in Hong Kong, a place you love.

Also this month, a friend told me about a job posting for an attorney for the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. With my background, it seemed like a good fit for me on the surface. I talked with my dad about whether or not I should apply, but I felt that his advice didn’t really seem to fit how I viewed the situation.

Then I talked with you, and I was very aware of just how well you understand me and my personal path. With your help, I decided that this job wouldn’t be a good fit for me.

This month we also had a big disappointment: shooting our engagement photos. We had them planned, but yet again they didn’t happen. It’s such a minor thing, but it’s also been a struggle with the rain we’ve had in San Diego. Fingers crossed that March 13 will be the perfect day for our photos.

The upside of cancelling the shoot was getting to go to the shooting range together for the first time. I love that you make a point of planning new experiences for us. And you learned something about me that day – I’m a pretty good shot. 😉

March will be a big month too – your 30th and golden birthday! Woo! I can’t wait to celebrate with you.

Love,

Darcie

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