Letter to Logan – January 2019

by Darcie
logan and darcie hawaii

Logan,

Though we started the year excited to be engaged, I wasn’t feel so energized about 2019. I knew I wanted to make progress professionally, but I didn’t have any idea how to do it.

I’ve never been someone who sets new year goals, but this year I thought it might be a good idea. I created a Google doc and wrote some questions for us to answer individually and then come together to share with each other.

I loved hearing about your goals for this year. It fills me with joy to hear your enthusiasm about continuing to develop your business. I am touched that you trust me to share with me your fears; I don’t take this vulnerability for granted. And it’s why I know you are the right person for me.

I also created questions for us to answer about our relationship to help us set goals because we know that all relationships take work. Our life is not curated for Instagram, or for anyone except ourselves. We don’t pretend to know everything, and instead recognize that we actually know very little. But I believe our strength together is that we are both committed to trying and that starts with an honest inventory of how we can be better partners to each other.

We talked about timing of children, and it was a hard conversation as we shared our different perspectives on how the timing would affect each of us differently. We both felt like the other person couldn’t really understand our perspective.

There was some frustration, but in the end, we realized that our goal was not to convince the other of our time frame for kids, but to listen to each other for the purpose of co-constructing a plan that makes sense given both of our perspectives.

I value that we both feel safe enough to express our perspectives, especially when we disagree, and that we believe it’s important to figure out a resolution. Our discussions are never what I would consider arguments  – there’s no yelling, name, calling, or ultimatums – which I believe makes a resolutions come SO much more quickly.

I’m so proud of you for continuing to share your thoughts with the world in this space. I know how writing challenges you, but you continue to push yourself to take steps outside your comfort zone.

Your mom visited this month for the purpose of going wedding dress shopping with me. The gesture showed me how much she is welcoming me into the family, is excited about our marriage, and supports us as a couple. 

I had the best time shopping for wedding dresses with our moms and my friends.

wedding dress shopping

I found two I loved and showed you some of the rejects.

strappy wedding dress

strapless wedding dress

I went shopping again last weekend didn’t find anything I liked.

So I went again yesterday and tried on my top two choices. I debated and debated, and finally made a decision! I SO badly want to show you the dress, but I know it’ll be worth the wait to see your face when I walk down the aisle. 🙂

Now I’m exciting January feeling hopeful, motivated, and excited about all that is coming into our lives this year. Even though we both find so much joy in our work, it means more to me that I have your support in whatever I do. It’s not all picture perfect support: sometimes you challenge me or play devil’s advocate. But you are always there to offer help or a suggestion when I’m feeling stuck.

I’m so grateful you chose to do this life with me.

253 DAYS!

Love,

Darcie

PS: I know the featured photo is from Hawaii, which was in December, but we’re terrible “do it for the ‘gram couple” and don’t have any photos of us from January. Better luck in February. 😉

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