Letter to Logan – June 2019

by Darcie
darcie and logan flower field

Logan,

They say the only constant in life is change, and that seems to be true for us. 

This month, I learned that my roommate will be moving out at the beginning of July which is paving the way for us to transform that space into an office.  I’m super excited about this! 

Right now I do most of my writing at the kitchen table, and while it has plenty of light, I’m looking forward to having a dedicated space for business and creative pursuits.

I know you’ll enjoy the space too once you move in. No matter how close we grow, we both believe that it’s important for us to maintain essential parts of who we are, and for us that means having a space where we can close the door (at different times of course since we’ll share the space) and devote uninterrupted time to projects that contribute to making us feel whole. 

Last weekend was your bachelor party, and you asked me to join for dinner one evening to meet two of your buddies for the first time. They say you are reflections of the company you keep, and I’d say you were intentional in choosing these guys. They were very warm and engaging with me, and I felt like they really wanted to get to know the woman you are going to be marrying. 

We also chatted about the wedding, and it really upped my excitement level to think about how we are getting married in a matter of months, in Bali of all places. What is this life! It’s cliche but true that I feel incredibly blessed.

Speaking of which, fairly often I catch myself looking at my engagement ring. I know you’re not surprised by this. 🙂 I love the ring so much (which is a relief given the headaches you (we) went through to get it), but more than that, because of what it symbolizes. I hoped and prayed for you for so long that it’s sometimes surreal to actually be experiencing it. 

A pinch-me moment happened this month when I felt like I couldn’t move my career forward fast enough. I’m bursting with ideas and I have the drive to make it happen, and sometimes I get frustrated when I feel like I can’t move quickly enough simply because I’m not licensed yet. I struggle with remembering that I’m in the midst of a valuable learning period right now which will set me up to (hopefully) have a thriving business one day. 

Part of my struggle comes with being an employee. Having been raised in an entrepreneurial family, it’s really hard for me to go to a job where I clock in and out. I strongly dislike being told what to do and micromanaged. I know this phase of life is temporary, but I really struggle with wanting aspects of the future to be here NOW. 

When I was crying on the couch, virtually inconsolable, you were right there next to me. You pushed me to express my thoughts and emotions and couldn’t have been more patient in sticking with me despite my – let’s be real – foul mood.  In these moments, I am reminded of what an incredible support system I have in you. 

I know that I grew stronger from that weekend, and I’m slowly learning to trust the process and stay in my own lane. I remind myself that my journey is my own and thus will never look like anyone else’s. And that’s actually really beautiful. 

I’m also more often reminding myself of what’s in my control and what isn’t, and that spending time bemoaning something that isn’t within my control is taking away from what is in my control. And that’s a lot of things right now. 

I’ve said this a lot this month – to clients and friends and to myself: Life is beautiful AND it’s challenging. Both can be – and are – true at the same time. It’s not one or the other. I often fall into “all or nothing” thinking, and you help me recognize when I get caught up in it and give me a much-needed dose of perspective. 

I couldn’t be more excited and grateful to share all of these moments with you – the beautiful and the challenging ones. You celebrate the highs and support me during the lows. That’s a true partner.

I love you so much.

Darcie 

Featured image by Bria Peterson

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