Letter to Logan – October 2019

by Darcie
Darcie and Logan at Bali wedding

Logan,

First, I want to acknowledge that we didn’t write letters to each other last month. It was VERY busy month with last-minute preparations for the wedding, and I think it just wasn’t on our priority list to pause and reflect. Part of me wishes I had taken that pause because I love our letters and I think I could have used the opportunity to pause, reflect, and take in the experience of the days and weeks leading up to heading to Bali.

But I just didn’t have the mental or physical energy. Other tasks and responsibilities took priority, and at the end of the day, I just didn’t have the bandwidth. In the past, this would have bothered me more than it actually did. My tendency to see things as all or nothing is something I’ve been working on with your help. You’ve increased my awareness of this tendency, and I’ve made an effort to see the gray in situations.

So now that two months have passed, I can’t remember what happened in September, aside from getting ready to go away for 3 weeks in October. It was a whirlwind month.

October was another whirlwind. It went by quickly, but at the same time, we both felt ready to return to San Diego at the end of our three-week wedding adventure and honeymoon. I won’t go too much into detail about the wedding and honeymoon because I feel that’s a separate post altogether.

What I do want to say is this…

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to marry you (again) in Bali. If only one issue/complication the entire trip is all we can say went wrong, I’d say the wedding and entire trip was as close to perfect as we could have imagined.

We both know that perfect doesn’t exist and neither of us strives for that. So I won’t say that our wedding was perfect. What I will say is that the days leading up to our wedding, our wedding day, and our honeymoon all felt very true to who we are as individuals and as a couple. And I think that’s the most we can ask for when it comes to celebrating our love and the start of our life together.

I recently posted this on Instagram: A wedding is a just a day, and a moment is just a moment. A wedding is the start of a marriage, and moments make up a lifetime. We return to one home, to share a life together, to experience more joy than a single day can hold.

Our wedding day was incredibly joyful. But so were many days before, and I have no doubt many days to come.

As we both shared in our vows, we don’t complete each other. At the same time, I feel more confident in who I am with you as my life partner. You make my life happier, more fun, and you challenge me in ways that take me out of my comfort zone. You also have a magical way of supporting and validating me while also guiding me away from dwelling on things that do not matter in the grand scheme of things.

Without you, I would go on. My life would not end. But, as I said in my vows, you enrich my life in a way unlike anyone else. I hope I don’t have do life without you anytime soon.

Love,

Your wife, Darcie Brown

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